In 2016, I was a full-time working mom of a two year old girl full of life, energy and fire. I was also pregnant with my son. I was grateful, thankful, blessed and exhausted! Not just physically exhausted, but completely heart and soul mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted!

My daughter did not sleep well. She was difficult to get to sleep and difficult to keep asleep! In fact, my husband would joke that as soon as I got far enough away from her that she could no longer smell me, she was instantly awake, again!

When she was awake, we were smack in the middle of what I like to call the “training wheels” phase of toddlerhood. She wanted to do everything herself, except she couldn’t quite do much by herself. Enter the massive meltdowns! She would have a meltdown because she wanted to put her own shoes on, followed by a meltdown because she couldn’t get her own shoes on. Then once her shoes were on, she was onto the sliding glass door. Repeat with the car door. Repeat with the car seat buckle. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Once we finally got to my moms house for me to drop her off on my work days, then started the “Mommy please don’t go” meltdown. She would hold my leg for dear life until we were all three crying! I would then continue to cry as I drove to work. My mom promised me she was better the second I pulled out of the driveway but that did NOT stop the mom guilt. Or the morning sickness, for that matter!

I would try to turn on the radio to take my mind off of both. The problem was, at that time, it was non-stop Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton talk. I’d listen and just become more nauseous! I’d settle for my Best of Dolly Parton CD for the one millionth time and try to pretend I had enough energy to head into another “9 to 5” day. (See what I did there? Hehe)

Once at work, I would start a day of treating concussion/head injury patients all day. I love my career as a Physical Therapist and I choose to treat head injuries because it’s a passion of mine. But let’s be clear, my job is to basically help people through one of the worst phases of their life. All day, every day. And I do not take that responsibility lightly! I give it all I’ve got! And sometimes my patients’ pain sits heavy on my empathetic heart. It’s not uncommon for me to ask my patient at the beginning of the session, “How are you?” And have the answer be “Terrible!” “Miserable!” “This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!” Repeat every 45 minute session. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

So, at this particular time, in the fall of 2016, I felt as though I was down in the trenches of parenting a toddler, down in the trenches of pregnancy, down in the trenches as a concussion therapist with no real end in sight. It was sort of like the 8th mile of a half marathon, when the excitement has worn off, the finish line is nowhere in site and your running buddies have either left you in the dust or stopped at the port-a-pot! So you’re out there just trying to put one foot in front of the other. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

One day, I was working with a patient and her mother was asking me about my daughter. I explained she was in the “crying when I dropped her off” phase. I also mentioned that when I pick her up and ask “how was your day?” she always tells me something awful that happened. You know like, “me bwoke me toy” “me hurt me belly” “Me cwied when you left”. Repeat more bad things. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

This patient’s mom, laughed, and informed me her kids used to do the same exact thing! She then recommended that I change the way I asked my daughter about her day. She suggested I say:

“What was THE BEST PART of your day?”

She promised me I would find out that plenty of wonderful things happened to my daughter each day but humans, even at a young age, focus on the negative. It struck me in that moment how true that is! Why do we humans do that?

I went straight home that evening and asked my daughter exactly that! After a moment of explaining what I meant, she answered,

“Da best pawt of me day…mama helping me put me shoes on and seeing me gwanny”

Yep. Turns out all those meltdowns had in fact not had a lasting impact! Shocking, I know, but at the time it felt like a weight had lifted! The mom guilt seemed less crippling and I started to realize that maybe the best part of my day had been having a beautiful daughter who still needed her mama to help put her shoes on… Or maybe the best part was the morning sickness, a sign that I had a healthy baby on the way… Or maybe the best part was that I had patients who came to me every day who were “Miserable!” And “Terrible!” but they kept coming and refused to give up!!!

From then on, I asked her that specific question every day. Shortly thereafter, it became a ritual of ours every night before dinner, after our prayer, to take turns telling each other the best part of our days. It didn’t take long before hearing my loved ones “best” became the best part of my day!

It seems melodramatic but that one sentence shifted my perspective on my life. I started searching and tracking the positives in my day so I could have something to report at dinner. I then extrapolated the idea and started asking my patients “what is the best you have felt since I saw you last?” As they answer that question, they realize for themselves that usually at least some progress has occurred. And in the head injury world, we celebrate the progress, no matter how small!!!

Now, let me just say, sometimes, somedays are BAD! Sometimes life is HARD! I believe in acknowledging the hard. I do NOT believe in shoving your emotions away to give a fake rose-colored glasses look at life. But I do believe that no matter how hard the day, there is always a best part! Sometimes, the best part is surviving the day and knowing that tomorrow we get another fighting chance to have a slightly better best part to report! Sometimes, the best part is knowing that we opened our eyes this morning because even though we may not see it, God thinks we still have something to offer this great big world! How awesome is that?!

Fast forward four years to Spring 2021…

Here I am, a full-time mom to a son in what I like to call the “training wheels” phase of toddlerhood and a six year old daughter full of life, energy and fire. I’m a part-time Physical Therapist who specializes in concussion/head injury patients and still listens to The Best of Dolly Parton on the way to work to shake the mom guilt and avoid the news, which ironically hasn’t changed much in four years. I am grateful, thankful, blessed and some days still exhausted!

But…the best part of every single one of my days is still hearing about the best part of my families’, friends’ and patients’ days. Oh yea…And knowing I opened my eyes this morning because God thinks I still have something to offer! He thinks the same about you too, friends! He hasn’t given up on us!!! Isn’t that THE BEST PART?!?!

Safe Travels!

Morgan Rae