When my husband and I first got married we rented a little two bedroom townhouse for less than half of what our current mortgage is. We often look back on the simplicity of those times with a sense of nostalgic fondness. There was something magical about that time: the beginning of our marriage, the beginning of our careers, and an overall sense that the world really could be whatever we wanted it to be!
At the time, of course, we didn’t quite realize it was the “good ol’ days”. We worried about bills, about career choices and were desperate to find a house. We spent most of our spare time planning for the future instead of living in the present. But, one thing we frequently did that forced us to live in the moment was to have my cousin’s two boys over to play!! They sure kept us on our toes!
Shawn and Kyle were the first two of the next generation and to say we were all excited for their arrival is an understatement!! I was 17 when Shawn was born and I would hold him and stare at him for hours just waiting to see a little smile or to see him open his little eyes! By the time Kyle came, I was bound and determined to be the funnest Aunt who had ever Aunted! Actually, it was Kyle who decided I was his “Aunt” not his “cousin”. He just refused to call me anything except Aunt Morgan!
So by the time we were in our townhouse, Kyle was around 3 years old and I was so happy to have a place where they could come stay! One particular day, I was in the middle of making their day magical and saying “YES!!” to all the candy and all the video games and the demands when something awful happened!
You see, my stairs had a flat banister without any railings which happened to be perfectly sized for Kyle’s little butt!! So he, as any three year old boy would do, slid right down that banister. The problem was that there was a closet at the bottom of those stairs with a door knob at just the exact height of Kyle’s forehead! Shockingly, he did not hit his head, but he was centimeters away, hand-on-my-heart swear!!
So in that second of seeing him almost knock himself out while simultaneously wearing the largest grin on his little face, I knew two things to be equally true:
1. He was going to be devastated if I told him he couldn’t do that again!
2. His mom would either kill me or never let Kyle stay again if he knocked himself out cold on my watch!
So I had to decide if I wanted to be the “Fun Aunt” or I wanted to keep him safe. I, of course, kept him safe and grabbed his little hand and walked him away from the slide/death trap stairs and said:
“Buddy, we can’t do that again!”
“Whhhhyyyy??? That’s funnnn!” Kyle said with little tears welling up in his eyes.
“Because you almost hit your head and I don’t want you to get hurt buddy!” I explained.
“Ok me won’t do it again Aunt Morgan!” he answered as he sort of nodded his head and I felt we had a moment of silent understanding.
Then, less than two minutes later, I walked around the corner as he came flying back down that banister, giggling, his hair blowing back and again came within centimeters of knocking himself out.
“Kyle!! I just told ya, you can’t do that buddy!! You have to go to time out…”
Now his tears in his eyes came pouring out and almost broke my heart and he said, “No, Aunt Morgan, don’t send me to time out!!!”
I knew my Funnest Aunt Ever title was hanging by a thread so I said: “Do you know what you did wrong?”
He answered, “Yes, me swid down da staiws”
I replied, “Yes, you did and you can’t do that buddy. You’re gonna get hurt! Are you gonna do that again?”
“No!!! Me won’t do it again!” he promised.
Five minutes later, he AGAIN squeals with glee as he slides down the stairs, his fastest time yet!
“Time out, Kyle!” I said in a raised tone of voice!
When time was up, I went in to see Kyle. I bent down on my knees so we could see each other eye to eye. His tears were all over his face and his little shoulders were shaking!
“Kyle, do you know why Aunt Morgan put you in time out?”
“Yes, because me swid down da staiws” he cried.
“And had I told you not to do that?” I asked.
“Yes” he said, still crying.
“Are you gonna do it again?” I asked.
And this time, looking me straight in the eyes, he took a deep breath and cried out, “Yessss!! Because me WEALLY WEALLY want to!!!!”
At that point, I tried not to laugh, I wiped his tears and I took him and his brother to the nearest park I could find. He slid and slid until he was exhausted. At the end of the day, I returned him to his mom with zero injuries to report. Both boys hugged me, gave me their award-winning smiles and said,
“Love you, Aunt Morgan!”
So, I strutted home, knowing I was still the Funnest Aunt to have ever Aunted!! And I got the approval of Nichole for doing a good job. Nichole was someone I always looked up to. She was four years older than me and I had a front row seat at watching her live life. She taught me so many things by just letting me be by her side.
I learned so much about being a mother the same way, by watching her be the BEST mother to Shawn and Kyle. I watched her change diapers, squeeze out boogers, wash dirty clothes, dry tears and band-aid boo-boos. I also watched her go through gut-wrenching hard times. And yet, even when she didn’t love herself well, she loved those two boys with everything she had! And they loved her right back! I strive, every day, to love my two kids the same way.
Fifteen years have gone by since Kyle slid down my stairs…
Today, Kyle leaves for boot camp with his eyes set on becoming a U.S. Marine. I really want to just put him in time out again and just keep him there so he won’t get hurt! But then I can hear his little voice say, “Because me WEALLY WEALLY want to, Aunt Morgan!”
Isn’t it funny how loving a growing human forces your love to grow, too? How it grows from “Yes! Do whatever you want!” to “No, I have to keep you safe!” to “I trust you to make your own decisions because I know the amazing man that you have become!”.
I have always loved this quote:
There are two gifts we should give our children: One is roots. And the other is wings.
I know Nichole, for just a small moment, is wishing she could pull those roots a little tighter. But she also knows Kyle was always born to fly. So, go fly, Kyle! Just know that your “roots”, your entire family and friends, are rooting you on every step of the way!! You make us proud and you are very loved! May God surround you with His light, His love and His protection as you set out to make your own “Detours”!
Safe Travels and Lots of Love,
“Aunt” Morgan Rae
