Well, friends, 2022 has not exactly been my year. It could be worse, yes, but it could be a lot better, too! I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted this past week. So I did what every one does when they feel overwhelmed and exhausted…
I met my best friend for margaritas!
We talked. We laughed. We solved the world’s problems. We reminisced.
And it is my pleasure and my friend’s worst nightmare that I share one of those reminiscent stories with you now:
One fateful day, circa 2005, I talked her into going to the gym. I was on summer break from college and bound and determined I was going to be in the best shape of my life by the end of summer. She had put up a decent amount of resistance but I think she just got tired of listening to me and she finally agreed. The deal was simple: 30 minutes on the treadmill then we could go do something fun.
I was about 15 minutes in to my treadmill run when I realized she was no longer on the treadmill next to me and had instead headed over to the water fountain. I decided pretty quickly to ignore her. I had a goal and I wasn’t going to let her bring me down!
Then one of the gym employees came over to the front of my treadmill. I took my headphones out and she asked, “is your friend ok?”
“Seriously?!” I thought to myself. She’s at the drinking fountain. I’m still running and sweating. And your worried about her?!
“Yea she’s fine!” I said with clear annoyance in my tone and popped my ear buds back in.
After a few minutes my friend comes back over and gets on the treadmill. I can tell she is trying to get my attention. But, I had my goal in my mind and nothing was gonna stop me. So, I finished my 30 minutes before I pulled my head phones out.
“Why did you quit?” I asked.
“I fell off the treadmill,” she said, barely loud enough to hear.
“What?! When?!” I said.
“Half way through my foot caught the side and I went right off the back! You didn’t see me?!” she said.
“Oh my God! No! I thought you just quit and went to get a drink!”
“No, I just tried to get up before too many people saw! I played it off like I was headed to get a drink!”
She still to this day gets half embarrassed about falling off the treadmill when it comes up. But the truth is, I should be the one embarrassed. I was a jerk of a friend that day! Self-involved, non-empathetic and impatient. All the things that you should NEVER be if you want to keep a friend for 34 years! Lucky for me she is none of those things and forgives me more often than I deserve!
Thirty-four years!!
That’s how long we’ve been friends, by the way.
I met her on my very first day of Kindergarten. Actually, on the bus ride TO Kindergarten to be exact! It was the late 80’s and they shoved four of us kindergarteners into one bus seat. We had no option but to get to know each other pretty quickly!
If you had been there you would have never guessed we would still be friends 34 years later! I was all blonde pigtails and pink frilly dress with enough anxiety that I didn’t stop talking. She was all dark curly hair and anything BUT pink on with enough anxiety to glare at me for having the nerve to talk to her when she was busy being nervous.
From that day forward, we conquered most of life’s big moments side by side… with me talking too much and her not talking enough.
For a while, our life paths were close to identical. We grew up in the same small town. Survived Middle School and High School together. Worked at the same fast food restaurant. Dated friends and hung out with the same crowd of people. Graduated together.
But, then our paths started to separate. She got married and entered the work force before going to college. I went to college before getting a job and getting married. From there on out it seemed like a constant roller coaster of one of us being high on life while the other suffered a loss or a negative blow of some sort.
For instance, a week after I lost my first child, her first child was born 100% healthy. He was also handsome and perfect, might I add! It wasn’t always as easy for us to be side by side supporting each other as it had once been. We were rarely in the same geographical location and even more rarely in the same emotional space. Yet, I always felt like my heart was partly with her and hers with me.
I think that’s maybe been the secret to our friendship for all of these years. We have figured out a way to live life on our own life’s path and yet still park our treadmills right next to each other. I live life at my speed & intensity and she lives life at hers. If I’m slowing down, she has stopped hollering at me to speed up. And if she is speeding up, I don’t demand her to slow down. We cheer each other on at whatever speed we are at.
But, we DO make sure to look out the corner of our eyes and check to make sure one of us hasn’t fallen off the treadmill altogether! Every once in a while we stop our own treadmill, hop off and physically pick the other up off the floor. We dust each other off, share our water bottle and use words of encouragement to get the other back on the treadmill! And once we are back on, we resist the urge to tell the other what setting they should put the treadmill at!
I can’t help but think that is the relationship God wants to have with us. He has given us free-will and He is aware that we are human. He knows no matter how much we want to be on the path He has created for us, that at some point we are going to incorrectly adjust the incline, speed and intensity. But He will also be right there when we fly off the back of that treadmill. He will pick us up, dust us off and put us back upright.
And… even though He really wants to take control of the settings, He will let us choose our own incline, speed and intensity over and over again.
He doesn’t control us. He doesn’t keep score. He doesn’t shame us. He just parks his treadmill next to us and never leaves.
He also knows that we may stop inviting Him to the gym at some point. I’ve been there many times. Times where I just stopped inviting God in…
But, those times were when I was most thankful God had filled my gym full of friends I could rely on, including my best friend for 34 years!
34 years later, here we are…
Still complete opposites! She loves Halloween and horror movies. I like Hallmark, especially at Christmas. She paints and crafts. I write. She orders frozen fruity margaritas with sugar on the rim. I prefer salt-rimmed, lime margaritas on the rocks.
I still talk too much and she still doesn’t talk enough.
But there is no other treadmill I’d rather be parked next to in this life!
Hers and God’s.
I pray y’all find some treadmill buddies to park next to in life. And I hope those treadmill buddies encourage you to invite God in the gym. You won’t be disappointed!
Safe Travels!
Morgan Rae
