Our detour to nowhere begins in 1997, in the place where all good love stories begin…

Tomorrow, my husband and I will celebrate our 14th Wedding Anniversary! So I think maybe it’s time to share our story…

Our detour to nowhere begins in 1997, in the place where all good love stories begin…

Phys. Ed.

I was a freshman in High School with one goal in life: blend in at all costs!

No, that’s not true! I had TWO goals because I had somehow made the High School gods angry and scored FIRST PERIOD Phys. Ed! I mean, seriously? First period?! The gods certainly did not understand the science behind curled bangs and the damage forehead sweat could have on them!

So like I said, two goals:

1. Blend in.

2. Don’t sweat.

So… I spent every glorious morning in Phys. Ed, in my purple Guess sweatshirt and matching plaid boxer shorts hoping no one would notice how pale and freckled my legs were. And willing my body NOT to sweat. I honestly thought I had somewhat succeeded until one fateful day mid-September.

“Today, we are playing volleyball. You four…pick teams,” our teacher announced as she pointed at four boys.

I let out a sigh of relief. No one was gonna pick me as I had earlier that week adequately shown how UNABLE to play volleyball I was! Which meant I wouldn’t play much, which meant I wouldn’t sweat!

“Morgan” I heard.

I slowly looked up at one of the boys. I made eye contact with a tan, curly-haired boy in a green Nirvana T-shirt as I thought to myself,

“No way did he just call my name!”

Then he smiled at me…

And I looked back at him in horror and stayed seated.

“Morgan”, the teacher said…

So I stood up and slowly walked over toward the Nirvana shirt boy and thought to myself as I gave him a fake smile back:

“I’m gonna have to kill this cute boy if I end up sweating”…

And the rest is history, as they say!

By the end of Freshman year we were a couple, although, to this day we still argue over who kissed who first. We dated all through High School and College. We got married three days before Christmas in 2007 and as we danced to The Eagles’ “Love Will Keep Us Alive” we believed every word. We didn’t expect life to be easy, but our love would keep us safe and sane when the world came for us. Sounds like a Hallmark movie, am I right?

Most think they know stories like ours. They typically react in one of two ways: as if high school sweethearts is the most romantic thing they have ever heard! Or as if high school sweethearts is the worst thing they could imagine!

I usually just laugh off everyone’s comments and keep my thoughts to myself. But today, I’m going to just tell the raw truth:

They are both right!

When you list off our highlight reel of accomplishments together, it’s obvious we have been blessed beyond what either of us has ever deserved. We have a beautiful home, the most precious babies we could imagine, steady jobs that we like more than we dislike and we are surrounded by supportive friends and family.

That’s the problem with the highlight reel, though. It doesn’t cover the reality of our story. The reality of our story includes the highest of highs, yes! But also the lowest of lows. It includes absolute heart break! It includes the loss of loved ones both to death and consequence, jobs lost, stock market crashes, fertility struggles, pregnancy losses and most recently a pandemic. And yes in a lot of those bad times it WAS the LOVE that kept us ALIVE.

But there were also times when all was right in the outside world and it was The Love that almost killed us! There were times when The Love itself was toxic! Our reality includes breaking each other’s hearts, too, in big and small ways. You see, we didn’t magically skip over the growing pains of adolescence and young adulthood. We didn’t wave a wand and get a pure and perfect love at 15 years old! We suffered through all the same toxic relationships a lot of you have suffered through, we just did it with each other.

We have tossed in the towel plenty of times. Then saved the towel in time to toss it right back in. We have fought against each other as much as we have fought for each other. We have fought against each other BECAUSE the other one was fighting for us!

Even now if you ask us our best relationship advice, we don’t really have a great answer. This thing may still blow up in our face tomorrow! For all we know, The Love (may not) Keep Us Alive, after all! We still even at this moment really don’t know if our love story is the most romantic story we’ve ever heard or the worst story we could imagine. I guess it depends on which part of our story we dwell on.

So I’ll leave you all with what I DO know, one day before our fourteenth wedding anniversary:

Even when life gives me something as awful as FIRST PERIOD PHYS. ED., I’m going to put my gym shoes on and show up!

Because if I don’t show up, he can’t pick me to be on his team.

And if he doesn’t pick me to be on his team, then we don’t have a CHANCE at winning this game TOGETHER .

Sure, he may wake up and realize one of these days that I’m awful at volleyball. Or the whole game might get cancelled on us. Or the entire dang gym may just blow up in our faces. In fact, based on statistics, the chances of us winning the game is poor.

But I know with 100% certainty, I am going to LOSE if I don’t bother to show up!

So that’s it my friends, that’s my only advice…

Show up for love!

Even if you are scared and would rather blend in…

Even if you are tired and are not a morning person…

Even if you hate to sweat…

Whether you won or lost yesterday…

Whether you are hoping to be picked for the same old team or a new team…

Whether it’s the same gym you’ve been in since High School or your first time trying out a new court…

Show up for love!

Give yourself a chance to be picked!

Be willing to sweat! (Only if necessary, though, I mean gym showers are awful…)

Because Love…

For ourselves, for our significant others, for our friends, families, neighbors and strangers…

Love…

Will Keep Us Alive…

If we show up.

If we let it.

Safe Travels!

Morgan Rae