Come away with me…
On a Detour…
Across the pond and back in time…
It’s early June in the millennial year! I was sixteen years old and in my mind, a full grown up who knew more about life than Aristotle himself. I was walking out of the airport in Madrid, Spain to begin a week in Europe with a bunch of my friends from High School and some kids from a neighboring school.
I had a packed itinerary, a passport and an international calling card in my hand. The plan was to stay three nights in Madrid, Spain then take the midnight train to stay in Paris, France for three days. All I knew was that I was free from my parents, in freaking EUROPE with some of my BEST friends and everybody kept telling me it would be “the trip of a lifetime”!
We had been in Spain for about six hours…max! I was excited to find out my assigned roommates were two of my best friends and I was feverishly unpacking because I wanted to get back out on the town! Spain is full of color! Bright, almost obnoxiously bright, colors! The hotel was no exception. The walls were orange and the bedspreads were yellow and lime green. The hotel also had a little bit of that Spain smell. Sort of like body odor and warm milk. But hey, like I said.. 16. Europe. Friends. So who cared?!
Then I heard it:
POP!
Then I saw it:
Darkness…
Then as my eyes adjusted, one of my friends gave me “the look”. In that moment, although no words were spoken , I knew exactly what had happened. She had used her American hair dryer in a European plug without a converter.
I panicked. Totally panicked! I was about to hide under the lime green stinky bed to await the Spanish police when my friend swung open the door and yelled out,
“Hey! What’s going on?!” In a loud, accusatory tone of voice.
A male hotel employee responded in Spanish so we had no idea what he said until “Perdon”. Then he took off fast walking down the hall. I knew that was close enough to pardon that we were off the hook! My friends and I shrugged our shoulders and closed our door. Needless to say we didn’t end up in jail! Also, we didn’t do our hair again all week!!
Once I got over what I considered to be a near death experience, I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Spain. But after three days of up at dawn, sightseeing all day and staying up most of the night being 16 in Europe, I was exhausted.
I was also homesick! Unbelievable, I know, but my soul has always wanted to be docked safe at the homeland and flying high and away all at the same time. Don’t ask me, I’m still as confused about it as anyone else.
So, because I’m full of luck, as we waited to board the night train to head to Paris, I get the news that I am not assigned the same train cabin as my two friends. On top of that, I was going to be alone in the cabin because I should have been with a third friend of ours who had been unable to come on the trip due to a death in the family.
My friends gave me “the look” that said:
Are you OK?!
And even though I wasn’t, I was too tired to answer so I gave them “the look” back that said:
I’m good.
I climbed into my bunk, alone in my train cabin, and cried while that midnight train rocked side to side. I cried because I missed home. I cried because I missed my friend. I cried because my friend at home didn’t deserve to be going through all that she was going through. Then I cried because here I was in Europe feeling home sick…who does that?!?! Something must be wrong with someone who is homesick and sad in EUROPE on the “trip of a lifetime”!
That midnight train rocked my miserable self right to sleep! I slept 12 straight hours! I woke up feeling like a new person! And oddly enough, I was humming “Let It Be” and I’m not even really a Beatles fan (but my friend at home was!)
I hopped off that train, quickly found my friends and was ready to take on Paris! I ate crepes for breakfast, perfected my “Bon Jour!”, looked Mona Lisa right in the eye and I swear I felt the Holy Spirit wrap me up in a hug standing in the center of the Notre Dame!
I was completely back to having the time of my life without a care in the world as I waited in a long line to enter the Palace of Versailles. I was asking my friends exactly how many mirrors were supposed to be in this Hall of Mirrors everyone was talking about when it happened…
My friend gave me “the look” that said:
“Get me out of here right now!”
Within a half a second I realized we were packed into the first room of the Palace of Versailles like sardines and my friend was having a physical anxiety attack!
That’s all it took, “the look”, for me to spring into action. I wove us in and out of people, under ropes, stiff armed a few folks and had us outside into fresh air within 20 seconds! Jim Brown himself would have applauded!!
After a few minutes of sitting in the gardens, my friends color came back in her cheeks and her breathing slowed. Just as she was apologizing for ruining my Palace of Versailles visit…
The fountains all turned on! It was truly a breathtaking moment! With all the previous commotion and my focused concern for my friend, I was caught off guard with the most gorgeous water fountains, in the most gorgeous gardens, in Paris, sitting next to one of the best souls I’ve ever known! A moment of a lifetime…
Later that night, we went to see the Eiffel Tour. We climbed up, took a thousand photos, came back down and took a seat on some cement steps and stared at the Eiffel Tower at dusk. The heat had died down as the sun was setting and the moon was rising. Then right as the clock struck 9pm the entire thing lit up in sparkling white lights! Apparently this was a limited feature that only happened in the millennial year!! It was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in my 16 years!
Then bam…I was homesick! Tears coming down my face homesick!
“I’ll never be able to describe this moment to them,” I thought as I wished my family and friends at home were there with me.
“What good is a trip of a lifetime, if everyone else can’t experience it too?” I thought.
Then I immediately realized people were looking at me and I was being ridiculous!
So then I cried harder because “What good is the trip of a lifetime if I spent all the good parts being homesick?”
Looking back on my 16 year old self now, I just want to hug her! I want to pet her hair and tell her:
There is nothing WRONG with you!! You have just figured out the RIGHT a little earlier than some…
Because what I NOW know is this:
Trips of a lifetime aren’t about the monuments and the world wonders and the smelly Spanish hotel rooms. Trips of a lifetime are full of friends scaring the crap out of you and surviving to tell about it! They are full of squeezing out as much experience as you can until you exhaust yourself to the point of tears! They are full of helping friends through the unexpected and inconvenient hard times. They are full of acknowledging that the people you share big moments with are more important than the moments!!!
We humans are capable of so much more than we allow ourselves to be. We can be Scared and Brave. Heartbroken and Strong. Happy and Empathetic. Amazed and Sad. Angry and Loving. After all, we were made in the image of God! We were ALWAYS meant to feel EVERYTHING!!
I also now know this: perfect trips, perfect days, consistent happiness without any other emotions… that’s just not real! This journey here on earth is NOT some anti-climatic, monotone fairytale. This trip here on earth is scary and sad and maddening and overwhelming and breathtaking and beautiful. And a lot of times, usually THE BEST TIMES, it’s all of those things All. At. Once!
Maybe that is why Mona Lisa gave us all “the look”! Maybe the secret she’s been trying to tell us all is this:
Stop limiting yourself to the boring notion of a 1-dimensional happiness.
Stop fake smiling when you’d rather smirk.
Set yourself and your emotions free of society’s rules and just “Let it Be”.
Because the moment you allow yourself to feel EVERYTHING AUTHENTICALLY, is the moment this earthly life truly becomes…
The Trip Of A Lifetime!
Safe Travels!
Morgan Rae
